Displaced Palestinians are seen carrying their belongings as they make their way through the destruction upon returning to central Rafah in the southern Gaza Strip on Jan. 19, 2025. Photo credit goes to Bashar Taleb—AFP/Getty Images.
In her initial correspondence from Gaza, former blogger Amal Murtaja detailed the struggles of daily life during wartime. A subsequent update revealed her successful escape to Egypt with her children. Murtaja, who previously taught English at Gaza’s American International School, penned this letter from Giza, near Cairo.
As rumors of a potential ceasefire circulated, the news was met with a mix of emotions. The uncertainty weighed heavily, especially with loved ones still in Gaza. The anticipation of the ceasefire left me feeling conflicted, overshadowed by the memories of those we lost and the devastation left behind.
The past 15 months, though they felt like an eternity, have been incredibly trying. Adjusting to a new life in Egypt has been a challenge for me, as well as for Mohammed and Ali. The unfamiliar surroundings and different culture leave me feeling lost, constantly comparing this new reality to the life we left behind in Gaza.
Despite attempts to settle in and establish a routine, nothing feels quite right in this new environment. Egypt, while beautiful, does not hold the same sense of belonging that Gaza did. The memories of our life in Gaza—small moments of joy and connection—continue to haunt me, reminding me of what we have lost.
Life in Egypt has presented its own set of challenges, particularly without residency status. Finding opportunities for my children, Mohammed and Ali, has been a struggle, as has securing employment for myself. The road to rebuilding our lives in this new place has been anything but easy.
The desire to return to Gaza lingers, but the reality of our losses makes it nearly impossible. Our homes, our businesses, our schools—all gone. The thought of starting over in a place where conflict looms constantly is daunting. While many Palestinians in Egypt express a longing to return, the harsh realities of our circumstances make it a distant dream.
The ceasefire, while a glimmer of hope, is met with a sense of weariness and uncertainty among those still in Gaza. The toll of war has left many feeling drained and disheartened, yearning for a sense of peace and normalcy. The echoes of past traumas linger, a constant reminder of the hardships endured.
As we navigate this new chapter in Egypt, the longing for the familiar comforts of Gaza remains strong. The road ahead is uncertain, but our resilience and determination keep us moving forward, seeking a sense of belonging and peace amidst the chaos.