Ramallah, in the occupied West Bank, has been a place of sorrow and mourning at the Retno Hotel for over 16 months. On the evening of October 6, 2023, the hotel was bustling with guests, mostly from Gaza seeking medical treatment not available in their home region. Among them were Ahmed Ayyash, a 72-year-old civil engineer, and his wife Maha, as well as Shadia Abu Mrahil and her son Karam. These guests frequented the hotel for its medical facilities and proximity to their treatment centers in Ramallah.
However, on the morning of October 7, 2023, everything changed. Following an attack by Hamas on southern Israel, Israel launched a severe bombardment of Gaza, cutting off essential services. Panic and uncertainty gripped the guests at the Retno Hotel, with many unable to contact their loved ones back in Gaza. The ongoing war brought devastating news, with some guests losing family members and loved ones.
Nawaf Hamed, the owner of the Retno Hotel, tried to maintain a cheerful atmosphere for the guests, but the outbreak of war shattered any sense of normalcy. The breakdown of permit arrangements left many patients stranded in the West Bank, facing an uncertain future.
Today, the Retno Hotel serves as a temporary home for numerous patients from Gaza, along with their family members. The toll of the war is evident in the faces of these guests, who battle both their illnesses and the trauma of loss and displacement. Shadia, reflecting on the devastation caused by the war, expressed that the pain inflicted on her family and Gaza outweighs the struggles of her illness.
As residents make their way to the hospital for treatment, the once lively common areas of the hotel now carry a somber atmosphere. Among them, Karam sits beside his mother, a poignant reminder of the resilience and strength of those facing unimaginable challenges in the midst of conflict. Nearby, Ahmed was slouched in his chair, dressed in a blue sweater and green button-down shirt, while Maha warmly smiled at fellow residents passing by. Other guests would stop by the front desk, where a woman in her 30s was stationed, to request fresh towels or complain about noisy neighbors at night.
Shadia, exhausted from cancer treatment, expressed the impact of living in Gaza on their daily lives, clouded by life-threatening illnesses and the destruction of their homes and communities.
Nawaf Hamed, the 66-year-old owner and manager of the hotel, was often seen engaging with guests, offering coffee and a listening ear. Guests would gather in his office to discuss treatments or watch the news, seeking comfort in the inviting atmosphere he created.
Despite the financial strain on the hotel due to the war disrupting tourism and erratic payments from the PA, Nawaf worked tirelessly to keep operations running smoothly. He provided support to guests experiencing restlessness or uncertainty about the future, offering services and a touch of humor to lift their spirits.
As the war continued, Nawaf witnessed a growing sense of despair among his guests, with many feeling overwhelmed by the constant stream of sad news. Despite his efforts to bring moments of laughter and lightness, he also found solace in moments of solitude, using music to unwind and cope with the stress.
Shadia and Karam, trying to make their room feel like home, shared memories of their life near the beach in Deir el-Balah, contrasting the simplicity of their current situation with the luxury of their former home. Despite the challenges they faced, they found comfort in each other’s company, holding on to memories of a life before the war. “When we used to look outside, all we could see were green spaces and all the beauty that surrounded us. But now, at the Retno, shutters block the view of Ramallah’s limestone apartment buildings, empty lots, and back roads. In Gaza, Karam enjoyed spending time outdoors in the family garden and on the nearby beach. As an only child, he has always been very close to his mother, considering her not just as a parent but also as a friend and brother. Shadia, his mother, also sees Karam in a similar light, describing him as her father, friend, sister, and brother. Their bond is inseparable, and Shadia cannot imagine her life without Karam by her side. However, their lives took a tragic turn when Shadia was diagnosed with leukemia in 2022. This news was devastating for both mother and son, leading to a year of extreme depression for Shadia. Despite undergoing various treatments and facing the challenges of the illness, Shadia’s health has been further complicated by the stress of the ongoing war in Gaza. The destruction of their home by an Israeli rocket added to their hardships, leaving them feeling alienated and displaced. As Shadia continues her treatments in Ramallah, she finds solace in the memories of their life in Gaza, longing for the sense of community and warmth they once shared with their neighbors.” Shadia mentioned that someone undergoing chemotherapy cannot consume the food being discussed. However, residents also experience guilt as they are aware that their family members in Gaza have longed for a full meal, let alone meat.
The residents receive occasional stipends from the PA but rarely have extra money, sending whatever they can to their families in Gaza. Nawaf mentioned that before the war, the hotel’s restaurant was operational, attracting people for lunch. However, due to financial constraints, guests now opt for sandwiches over full meals.
Shadia expressed the difficulty of barely surviving and being unable to assist their families. She and Karam often save food from breakfast to consume at dinner.
With patients too ill to work, family members like Karam have sought employment in Ramallah to support their families. However, many local businesses are hesitant to hire Palestinians from Gaza, fearing repercussions in case of an unexpected Israeli military raid.
Many residents wrestle with concerns about what awaits them in Gaza if they can travel back and fear losing access to medical care upon their return.
Mohammed al-Assali, a 59-year-old man, lost his entire family during the war, leaving him alone in the world. Despite his desire to return to Gaza, the tragic loss has left him devastated.
Ahmed spends his days in Ramallah studying engineering and planning to rebuild Gaza. He initially kept to himself upon arriving at the Retno but has since interacted with other guests, embracing the sense of community in the hotel.
Throughout the war, Ahmed battled a rare form of leukaemia, requiring treatment in Ramallah. Despite the challenges, he and Maha hope to return to Gaza, even though they are uncertain about the ceasefire’s longevity. Belum ada koordinasi oleh pihak berwenang untuk memfasilitasi kembalinya warga Palestina yang terjebak di Tepi Barat yang diduduki, dan tidak jelas apakah atau kapan hal itu akan menjadi mungkin.
“Saya ingin pulang, dan saya tidak ragu mengatakannya,” kata Maha dengan tegas sesaat setelah kesepakatan gencatan senjata diumumkan pada 15 Januari, saat ia dan Ahmed duduk sendirian di lobi. “Itu hanya takdir kita jika ada yang terjadi pada kami setelah itu. Tapi kami perlu pulang.”
Saat orang-orang merayakan di jalan-jalan Ramallah — mengibarkan bendera, menyanyikan yel-yel, dan membagikan permen — reaksi di hotel tersebut agak suram.
Titik-titik sengketa antara Israel dan Hamas — termasuk siapa yang akan mengelola Jalur Gaza di masa depan — dibiarkan untuk diselesaikan dalam negosiasi selama gencatan senjata tiga tahap yang diantisipasi. Perdana Menteri Israel Benjamin Netanyahu mengatakan Israel mempertahankan haknya untuk melanjutkan perang, menyebut fase pertama sebagai “gencatan senjata sementara”.
“Perang ini tidak akan berakhir,” kata Ahmed. “Kedua belah pihak akan terus [bertarung]. Tapi tidak ada yang pulang ke Gaza berpikir bahwa semua hal tiba-tiba berakhir. Mereka tidak.”
“Inilah kehidupan di Gaza,” kata Maha, seorang ibu dari lima anak dan nenek dari 19 cucu, dengan senyum penuh penyesalan dan mengangkat bahu.
Ahmed berjalan di sepanjang pantai di Gaza. Sejak foto ini diambil, kesehatannya telah membaik [Kerjasama dari Ahmed Ayyash]
‘Lahir untuk membangun Gaza’
Rumah Maha dan Ahmed di Remal dulunya adalah tempat berkumpul bagi keluarga yang erat dan Maha akan menyiapkan pesta kabsa, maqlooba, dan maftool.
Selama perang, rumah pasangan itu hancur bersama dengan rumah anak-anak mereka yang selamat dari pengeboman dengan keluarga mereka.
Penjedaan yang panjang menyakitkan. “Hal paling sulit adalah hidup tanpa anak-anak, karena mereka harapan satu-satunya kami,” kata Maha, suaranya gemetar.
Dia putus asa untuk tinggal di rumah lagi. “Jika Anda tinggal di hotel lebih dari seminggu, Anda akan gila,” seru Maha sambil mengangkat tangannya dengan kesal. “Saya hanya ingin berada di rumah. Ini bukan rumah!”
Maha telah mencoba mengatasi perpisahan dan pengusiran dengan fokus pada membantu suaminya. Pada Oktober 2021, dokter di Rumah Sakit An-Najah di Nablus mengatakan kepada saudara Ahmed bahwa “tidak ada manfaat dari pengobatan dan lebih baik bagi saya untuk tinggal bersama keluarga saya dan menunggu kematian,” kenang Ahmed. Saat itu, dia begitu lemah hingga hampir tidak bisa berjalan.
Tapi Ahmed terus mencoba berbagai pengobatan, akhirnya menemukan suntikan. Dia mengatakan perang di Gaza hanya memotivasi dirinya untuk sembuh. “Ini memotivasi saya lebih untuk pulang dan membangun kembali,” jelasnya.
Meskipun prognosis awal dokter, kondisi Ahmed telah membaik dan stabil. Dia berjalan dengan baik dan sekarang kebanyakan pergi ke rumah sakit sendirian.
Sementara itu, pikiran Ahmed telah beralih ke membangun kembali Gaza. Dia bagian dari jaringan internasional insinyur yang membahas dan memetakan bagaimana merekonstruksi enklaf, dengan 69 persen dari semua struktur hancur atau rusak.
Untuk saat ini, kesehatannya mencegahnya meninggalkan Hotel Retno, tapi dia bertekad untuk mengalahkan penyakitnya.
“Saya dilahirkan untuk membangun kembali Gaza,” kata Ahmed dengan tegas. “Itulah yang selalu saya lakukan.”